If you are anxious about interpersonal relationships and being alone like me, open this book quickly! This book reads like watching a play, because the scene of the story is very single, in the apartment building, and the characters are also very fixed. The protagonist Lucas is an otaku who lives alone. He hates socializing and has three things to maintain happiness: games, red wine, and Thai fried noodles. One day, the property trio was refuted by Lucas with a set of logic for “throwing pans”. Instead, he was appointed as the chairman of the “Pan Incident Committee” on the spot, responsible for finding the real culprit. For him who just wants to live a quiet life, this is simply a disaster. After reading this, I’m so happy. I like the absurd plot and spicy language in this book very much.
For example, the author’s evaluation of greetings is:
“The cruelest form of interpersonal terrorism: small talk“
I totally agree. One of the scenes that scared me the most was that not long after a person sat down in a small restaurant, the boss suddenly sat opposite me very enthusiastically and began to ask me where I came from, what I did for a living, and if I was alone. At that moment, I even looked down and swiped my mobile phone, and became impolite. I wanted to be perfunctory but was afraid of being indifferent. I wanted to answer seriously, but I felt that every sentence was exhausting me. Before the meal was served, the person already wanted to leave.
I have always mistakenly thought that I am an e-person. I like to socialize and make friends with a lot of effort, but I don’t have any achievements worth showing off in interpersonal relationships. On the contrary, I toss and turn many nights because there is something wrong with my interpersonal relationships.
After reading this book, I know more about myself. I am a person who doesn’t like most people and doesn’t like most people. I’d rather eat instant noodles at home alone than have dinner outside with a group of people I don’t know or like. Just like Lucas, I also have a happy three-piece set: e-paper books, caffeine and any food that can be cooked in 10 minutes with an air fryer. I often stay in the house by myself, drinking tea or coffee while reading novels, and from time to time I eat a mouthful of freshly heated bread or chicken rice flowers in the air fryer. I can 100% sympathize with Lucas’s happiness of being alone, but I also have to admit that even if I am allergic to people to this extent, I still need to socialize, and high-quality socializing.
So I regularly go to the library to study with my old friends who have always had my three views and personality. After studying, we will have dinner, drink and chat together at night. Occasionally, I also participate in some activities with strangers. Although I don’t have any hope of making friends, I will be very happy if I meet someone I admire.
The communication between Lucas and the neighbor in purple skirts and the guests in green clothes in the book is the maximum social amount he can bear. At the end of the book, he is still the one who firmly chooses to be alone, and will not change because of a few good social experiences with others. I think the author handles it very well and adheres to his usual style: only describe, not judge. It didn’t persuade me to make a change, but encouraged me to stay firmly in my own world.
So back to the first question: which is happier, alone or socializing?
The answer may be – the moment when you don’t force yourself is the happiest. You don’t need to become an “extrovert” or “grouper” in the eyes of others, and you don’t have to participate in those parties that don’t make you happy to prove that you are not lonely. Every word in “Anxious People” says that being alone is not a substitute for failure, and socializing is not a sign of success. They are just two different sources of energy.
