You made an appointment to have dinner with the girl you like, and practiced the topic and answering skills at home for a long time in advance. As a result, as soon as I arrived at the restaurant, my heart beat faster and my mind went blank. I forgot everything when I was ready. I could only bow my head and play with my mobile phone awkwardly. Or it’s your turn to speak in the workplace meeting. The more organized you are and full of aura, the more likely your voice is to tremble and your logic will be confused. At the critical moment of the game, the more you want to stabilize your hand and take it in one fell swoop, the more likely you are to make mistakes.
In fact, the vast majority of boys can’t escape such performance anxiety. The reason is that boys are too strong, care too much about other people’s eyes, and pursue perfection too much, and gradually fall into endless mental exhaustion.
Don’t worry, today I will share with you three practical tips to take you to say goodbye to anxiety.
Don’t treat mistakes as people.
The common problem of many boys is that as long as they don’t hold on the scene, talk is stuck, and make mistakes on the spot, they will immediately deny themselves and feel that they are useless, have no aura, and can’t be on the stage.
For example, when you were speaking at a meeting, you forgot one of the main points and paused for 3 seconds. After sitting down, the more you thought about it, the more embarrassed you felt that everyone was laughing at you. At this time, immediately do a 3-second stop loss and meditate three times, “It’s just that I forgot the words, it’s not that I can’t do it”; after the fact, review, before the next speech, write down the three core points in the mobile phone memo, and take a quiet glance during the meeting, which is not conspicuous, but also can avoid forgetting words, and slowly not panic.
For example, when you go on a date, you accidentally say the wrong girl’s preferences, and you will be so embarrassed that you are at a loss in an instant. Don’t worry about “why am I so stupid”. First, laugh and make a round scene. “Oh, I’ll remember it. I will remember it next time.” After that, I repeat it, write down the preferences that the girl said in the mobile phone, and take a look before the next date. It is not only considerate, but also can avoid making mistakes again.
Reminder: Don’t fall into the extreme thinking of “one failure = my whole person can’t do it”, and don’t be too harsh on yourself when reviewing. The review only looks for “specific improvement points” and does not deny itself. Allowing yourself to be imperfect is the first step to overcome anxiety.
Don’t put the standard too high.
Men who show anxiety often set too high standards for themselves. If the standard is too full, the heart will naturally be tense. As soon as the tension comes up, no matter how strong the ability is, it will not be able to play.
When you are going to take the stage to make a work report, you don’t have to recite the manuscript word by word, otherwise you will be more flustered if you forget the words. Only write 3 core points in advance (such as “project progress, problems encountered, next step plan”), and only remember 1-2 keywords for each point. After taking the stage, according to the usual tone of speech, expand around the keywords. Even if there is a pause and verbose, as long as the key points are explained clearly, it will be played normally, even better than memorizing the manuscript. More natural.
When you are dating a girl, you don’t have to force yourself to find topics and pretend to be humorous throughout the whole process. Prepare 2 simple topics in advance (such as girls’ favorite food, recent dramas), and prepare a small interaction (such as asking her “Have you been to this restaurant?” What dishes do you recommend”), the lowest goal is to “not be cold”. When you can’t talk about the environment in front of you, for example, “the decoration of this restaurant is quite good”. You don’t have to force it, but it’s more relaxed, and girls will also feel comfortable.
Reminder: Don’t put the shackles of “must be perfect and amazing” on yourself, and don’t feel “not paying enough attention” just because the preparation is simple. We live a life, socialize, and work hard in the workplace. If we can play steadily and normally, we have already exceeded most of the people. Simplified preparation is not perfunctory, but to make yourself not nervous, but to play better.
Don’t take your brain to the truth.
What boys are most afraid of is not the current scene, but the crazy brain in advance: what if I say the wrong thing and get ridiculed? What do you think of me if I mess up? The more I thought about it, the more panicked I became. The more I panicked, the more nervous I became. Before I was on the field, my mentality collapsed.
If you are about to speak in public and haven’t opened your mouth yet, your mind has begun to make up: what if the logic is confused? What if the leader interrupts the question and answer and answer? The more I think about it, the more anxious I feel. My palms are sweaty and my voice tightens. At this time, I immediately pinched my thumb, took a sip of water, physically interrupted the brain, and then only meditated in my heart, “I’m going to say the first sentence now, let’s talk about the progress of the project first”. Focus on the current action, don’t think about other results, and the tension will drop in an instant.
For example, when you meet your partner’s parents for the first time, you keep thinking on the way, “What if they don’t like me? What if I can’t answer my income well?” The more I think about it, the more I panic. At this time, after stopping the car, take three deep breaths, look up at the environment of the community, interrupt the brain, and then only meditate in your heart, “I’m going to knock on the door now, say Hello first when you enter the door”. Focus on every step of the present, but you can deal with it calmly and not panic.
Reminder: Don’t extend your mind infinitely with anxious thoughts, and don’t force yourself to suppress your nervousness. Don’t force yourself not to be nervous at all. As long as you don’t amplify your fear and focus on what you should do at present, your state will naturally stabilize. In addition, don’t worry about the “worst result”. Most of the time, what you are worried about will not happen at all.
In a word, what I want to tell you is these three sentences:
- A mistake doesn’t mean you can’t do it.
- If you play normally, you will be very stable.
- Ninety-nine of the disasters in the head will not happen.
It’s not terrible to performance anxiety. What you are afraid of is that you are scared by yourself. From today on, doing things belongs to doing things, and being a person belongs to being a person. Remember, you don’t have to amaze anyone, you just need to be yourself.
