Did you suddenly start to review what happened five years ago in your mind while taking a shower? Or when driving, I can’t remember how I drove the three kilometers just now? Or five minutes before going to bed, preview tomorrow’s disaster in advance? At this moment, you may ask: how to turn off the unstoppable sound in your head?
The following are some methods I have summarized to answer your questions and help you overcome this obsessive thoughts.
Label the idea instead of quarreling with it.
An idea came to your mind, don’t argue with it, don’t analyze it, don’t try to drive it away. You only need to do one thing: recognize it, give it a name, and then ignore it. It will come again and again, and your goal is not to be taken away when it comes.
In the middle of the night, you remembered what you said three years ago → You said in your heart, “Oh, this is a ‘memory attack’.”
Colleagues didn’t reply and began to think nonsense → You said to yourself, “Oh, this is the ‘interpretation mode’.”
Specific steps:
- Step 1: When you notice the idea, name it immediately.
Don’t think about whether the name is good or not, just choose whatever you want. Even if you call it “that thing that bothers me again”. The key action is the “name” itself – this action will pull your attention from “immersed in thoughts” to the position of “observing thoughts”.
- Step 2: After naming, do not do anything.
Don’t analyze “why I have this idea”, don’t refute “this idea is wrong”, and don’t order “you disappear for me”. Just say “Oh, it’s you” and then turn your attention back to what you are doing.
- Step 3: Repeat, don’t pursue one-time success
Did this idea come back after five seconds? Then name it again. Oh, here you are again.” Put it back. Don’t be angry, don’t be impatient, just think of it as a little annoying neighbor. Knock on the door and you will respond, but don’t invite him into the house.
Specially arrange “anxiety time”
The more you don’t allow yourself to think, the more it will think. On the other hand, if you give it a special period of time and think openly, it will lose its stickiness. Every time you delay, you are training your brain. After practicing for a week, the effect will be obvious.
The more I think about it before going to bed, the more I can’t sleep → Arrange 15 minutes of “anxiety time” during the day to move everything you want to think about at night to think about it during the day.
Before the meeting, keep thinking about the disaster → Take 3 minutes before the meeting to write down all the “uncases”, and don’t think about it after writing.
Implementation process:
- Step 1: Fix a time period every day
Choose a daytime time, such as 4:00-4:15 p.m., and fix it. Tell yourself: “I only think about all the things that I can’t stop thinking about over and over again in these 15 minutes, and I don’t want to at other times.”
- Step 2: “Postpone” when the idea comes
At other times, the unstoppable thought pops up in your mind. You don’t have to drive it away. You just say to it, “Okay, I miss you at 4 p.m., so let it go for now.” Then write down (write a keyword on your mobile phone or paper) and continue to do your job.
- Step 3: When it’s time to be anxious, think hard.
Sit down and think about those things. You can write it down, say it out, and think about it in circles in the room. Stop after 15 minutes. As soon as the alarm clock goes off, stop whether you think about it or not. There are still 15 minutes left tomorrow.
“Outside” thoughts into words or sounds
Thoughts are stuck in your mind because they are spinning back and forth in your “internal cycle”. Take it out and put it outside – write it down, say it, record it – its cycle is broken. The action of pouring out the things in the mind itself is the treatment.
Repeatedly think, “Did I say something wrong?” → Take a piece of paper and write it down: “I said something to so-and-so today, and I’m worried that he will think of me.” After finishing writing, I was relieved.
Repeatedly check whether the door is locked → When locking the door, say loudly, “It’s 8:15 a.m. now. I locked the door.” Say it out loud, and the brain will remember it.
Specific steps:
- Step 1: When the idea is stuck, take it out immediately.
Don’t just think in your mind. Take a mobile phone memo, take a piece of paper, and even send a voice message to yourself. Write down or say what you are thinking about over and over again now.
- Step 2: After writing, add a sentence “This is an idea, not a fact”
After writing, add a line below: “This is just one of my thoughts. It doesn’t mean that it will really happen. That’s really it.” Or add a sentence when reading it: “What I just said is an idea, not the truth.”
- Step 3: Put it down, no need to solve it.
After writing, many people will continue to think, “Is this idea right? Would you like to analyze it?” Don’t. After you finish writing and reading, the action will be completed. Fold the paper, or put down the mobile phone and do something else.
Switch body channels from “think” to “do”
Compulsive thinking is “the brain is running at high speed”. You can’t just use your brain to stop it. But you can use your body to “change the channel” – do a specific action with body sensation, and the brain will be pulled back.
I can’t stop thinking repeatedly in the middle of the night → Get up and wash your hands to feel the temperature and touch of the water. Or do 5 squats.
After sending the message, the other party didn’t reply and began to think nonsense → stood up to pour a glass of water, drank it slowly, and counted how many mouthfuls he swallowed.
Implementation process:
- Step 1: Choose a “body anchor point”
Choose an action that can be done at any time in advance. Recommendation: clench your fist and then release it (feel the temperature change of the palm), drink a sip of water (feel the water from the mouth to the throat), touch the rough table or the fabric of the clothes.
- Step 2: When the idea comes, do this action immediately.
Don’t do any psychological construction, don’t analyze “I’m thinking too much now” first. As soon as the idea arises, you can do that body movement directly. The sooner the better. Don’t give the brain time to react.
- Step 3: Focus on feeling the body while doing the movement.
You don’t act mechanically. When you do it, pay attention to the feeling of the body: is the water temperature cool or hot? Do your palms sweat when you clench your fists? Is the desktop smooth or rough? After focusing on feeling for 5 seconds, the idea will be cut off.
You don’t need to use all four methods. Choose the one that is most convenient for you and practice from today. The idea comes, don’t fight with it, don’t reason with it, just do that action – put a label, write it down, set a time, or drink saliva. Ten seconds. It’s not that you can’t overcome obsessive thoughts. You just keep competing with it in the wrong way. Now change the way, and you will succeed.
