How to Get Out of an Anxiety Loop: Regain Psychological Balance

To be frank, you probably have been in such situations yourself. You were lying in bed at 2 a.m., and you just couldn’t stop asking yourself whether you messed things up in your work e-mail. How come you did not answer your best friend? Do I ever get peace of mind? The feeling that you’ve finally got your thoughts sorted, and another one pops out of nowhere, sending you back to the vicious loop of worrying. This is the anxiety loop, and believe me, this has nothing to do with your excessive thinking or pretentiousness. Rather, it is a never-ending circle of panic for your brain, where you cannot seem to escape at all. However, there is good news for you. You won’t be forever bound by the anxiety loop. Powerful it might be, but you are stronger.

 Now, I am going to show you how to break free from it with small, but practical actions and even examples you could relate to. Not a lot of scientific language, no need for any therapy, only efficient advice for desperate cases like yours.

How exactly does the anxiety cycle work?

First of all, we need to agree on one important point – how exactly does the anxiety cycle work? Let’s say that I have a fear of ruining this presentation, which will cause me to have an accelerated heartbeat, sweaty palms, and tense body posture, causing me to avoid practicing speech and behavior, thus increasing my anxiety and fear of failing. Now, we will take apart this method and apply it to your case, so you will know what to do in this situation.

Interrupt the confrontation cycle and recognize its presence.

What is the first thing you usually do when you get caught in the anxiety cycle? You probably deny these thoughts, telling yourself that you shouldn’t worry and stay calm, but here’s the thing – by doing so, you strengthen the cycle. This is just like pushing a beach ball into the water and expecting it not to bounce even higher. No, what you should actually do is acknowledge its presence and name it. This simple action can create a distance between you and anxiety, making it no longer feel like it is controlling you.

For example. Suddenly, your brain began to lose control: the boss will fire me. I can’t find a job anymore. I will disappoint my family. Don’t push these thoughts away at this time. Try to do this: pause, take a deep breath, and then say loudly, or say in your heart: Hey, this is an anxiety cycle.

Tip: Just use simple language when naming. Don’t say that I’m going through a continuous cycle of anxiety and cognitive distortion; just say that it’s an anxiety cycle, and I can break it. Stay casual, just like chatting with friends, so that the whole process will become less oppressive.

Use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method to pull yourself back to the present.

The cycle of anxiety is always stuck in the past, regret, or the future, all kinds of just in case, never in the present. This is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method, and it is also one of the most effective emergency brakes to relieve anxiety. It’s very simple. It only takes 60 seconds, and it can be done anytime and anywhere, at the desk, in bed, or even in the grocery store.

What to do? Suppose you are browsing social media and seeing the perfect holiday news posted by your friends. Suddenly, you began to lose control: I have never had a chance to travel. I’m trapped in a job with no future. Except for me, everyone is living the best life. Now, try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method:

5 things you see: look around, your laptop, the plant on your desk, the coffee cup, the window, and a pen.

4 things you touch: touch your shirt, soft cotton cloth, the feeling of stepping on the ground, cold tiles, coffee cups, warm, your hair, smooth.

3 you hear:Birds chirping from outside the window.Laptop fan noise.Sound of cars passing by.

2 things you smell:Coffee aroma from the coffee cup.The lavender candle smells from the desk.

1things you taste:Mint flavor of chewing gum.The taste of the last drop of coffee.

As a result of the procedure mentioned above, one will see that he or she has gotten over the mood of losing control. What does it mean? In other words, when your head is filled with events occurring at the present moment, it is impossible to think of anything that will happen afterwards. Nonetheless, there is no magic trick for getting rid of anxiety, but it becomes just a stopover in the cycle. Whenever I cannot sleep because of job-related anxieties at 3 a.m., I apply this method, and everything works great.

Stop the cycle of escape; small steps bring big changes.

Escaping is yet another critical element of the anxiety cycle. When there appears some stimulus that makes one react to it by getting scared, it is inevitable to attempt escaping from this very situation and, consequently, feel much more anxious about it than before. If you get scared because you have to make a speech in public, the first step you will take to escape from the anxiety is refusing to prepare for the following event, which only leads to increased anxiety and so on.

For instance, suppose that you usually have social anxiety caused by your fear of rejection by others. In that case, you will be motivated to escape social situations, which can be achieved by staying home. You will eventually become lonely, and at the same time, more frightened of social situations. Thus, your anxiety cycle includes social anxiety–avoiding social situations– loneliness– social anxiety. To escape from this cycle, you need to undertake some small actions.

For instance, you can just greet or smile at a stranger, such as a barista in a coffee shop, who walks past you in the morning. Hello, and now the ice breaker process has begun. You can participate in various interest groups or clubs, for example, a book club, where the pressure will be lower, since everyone’s attention will be on discussions related to books rather than personal success. You can express your thoughts during the discussion, regardless of whether it is a couple of words.

Although not all of these acts are significant, each attempt will contribute to breaking out of this cycle of escape. Gradually, you will realize that meeting people isn’t as terrifying as your mind perceives it, and thus, your anxiety cycle starts becoming weaker.

Here lies the essence of taking it step-by-step. You don’t need to jump immediately into big social events. All you need to do is make an attempt at something smaller. If you are afraid to communicate with others, you don’t have to immediately start participating in big parties. You can just communicate with those surrounding you regarding some minor subjects. Every small action will accumulate confidence, which can help you gradually break the cycle of anxiety.

Restructure the idea of what in case and stop catastrophic thinking.

The anxiety cycle survives by catastrophic thinking, exaggerating a small and possible negative result into the worst situation. For example: I didn’t receive my mother’s call → she was angry → she would never pay attention to me again → I would die alone. This is the cycle. To break it, you need to reconstruct these ideas to be more realistic and balanced. This is not for you to be optimistic or ignore your feelings, but to face yourself honestly and think about what may actually happen.

For example, you feel anxious about a project at work and begin to think: I will definitely mess up, this client will definitely not be satisfied, and I will be fired. At this time, you can stop and ask yourself: how likely is this worst situation? Through analysis, you find that there is no evidence that you will fail, and the customer may also understand your efforts. Reconstructing these disastrous thoughts can help you get out of the trap of anxiety.

Be kind to yourself. The anxiety cycle is normal. You have no problem.

Last but not least, breaking the anxiety cycle is not a once-and-ally thing. You may have tried these methods, feel better, and then fall into the cycle again a few days later, which is normal. Anxiety is a normal human emotion, and everyone will encounter a cycle. The key is not to blame yourself when this happens. On the contrary, treat yourself with the kindness of your struggling friends.

For example, you have used the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method and the method of reconstructing thinking, and you feel that you can control your emotions better. You may think: I’m really useless. I can’t even break such a broken cycle. But instead, try to say: It doesn’t matter, I just lose it occasionally.

Remember that breaking the cycle of anxiety is a journey, not an end. Some days will be easier and some days will be more difficult, which is completely fine. If you are willing to try, read this article, and try to break free, it means that you are already winning. You don’t need to be perfect; you just need to stick to it.Finally, I want to say: you can break the cycle and do it step by step.