At three o’clock in the morning, the baby cried. You bounced out of bed, and the first thought in your mind was not “he was hungry”, but “it’s over, wake up again”. You picked him up and coaxed him for twenty minutes, but he was still crying. You changed the diaper, breastfed, burped, and coaxed him again, but he still cried. You began to doubt: Did I do something wrong? Is there anything wrong with him? Am I not suitable for taking care of children at all? Then you sat in the dark, holding a little thing howling and crying, and you also cried. At that moment, you doubted yourself.

Honey, you can’t do it. You are just swallowed up by anxiety. As a new parent, almost everyone will experience anxiety in the newborn stage. It’s just because you want to do it well, you’re too afraid of messing up, and you love your child too much.

Next, I have summarized three categories of anxiety in the face of newborns. I hope it will be helpful to you now!

Anxiety related to baby’s health

Overly sensitive to every signal of the baby’s body, unable to distinguish between normal phenomena and real dangers, always magnifying small problems into disasters. Either toss and turn worse and worse, or stay up all night and stare at it, and dare not be relieved even if you break yourself down.

1. Abnormal signs

The baby suddenly vomited a big mouthful after drinking milk. You were so scared that you wanted to go to the emergency room overnight – look at the baby’s condition first: if you can cry loudly, it means that the airway is fine; it is really dangerous to have no sound and a purple face. If it is white milk, it is a normal overflow of milk, and it is enough to hold the head of the bed high by 15 degrees; yellow-green milk or bloody silk need to see a doctor. If you really don’t feel at ease, just take a video for online consultation. Don’t stay up all night and stare at it.

2. Development progress

Seeing that other people’s babies can turn over, your baby will only lie down. You are so anxious that you press the baby to practice hard – first check the reliable development window: turn over for 4-7 months, sit 5-9 months, your family should not panic within this range. Look at the trend without looking at the node. Last month, it will not be sideways, and this month it will be skewed, which is progress. If you want to help him, put a toy on the side, gently push the buttocks to give him a sense of activation, and then wait for him to try it.

3. Disease-related

There are several eczema on the baby’s face. You are too scared to go out and apply a pile of ointment – stop all the messy things first. Mild eczema (several erythema is inflexitable) only needs to wash your face with warm water every day and apply a thick smear of fragrance-free Vaseline three times a day. In moderate (itching one by one), follow the doctor’s instructions to use weak hormones on the basis of moisturizing, and only apply to the place where there is a rash. Take a normal shower and go out normally, and moisturize it in place. It’s terrible to let the eczema break and the infection.

Feeding and daily care anxiety

Pursuing “absolute accuracy” in daily operations such as breastfeeding, bathing and coaxing, making the safety interval the only standard. The water temperature difference is half a degree, and the baby hums and bounces up, spending a lot of energy on unnecessary details every day.

1. Feeding anxiety

You use the temperature to measure the water temperature when you make milk powder, and pour it out before half a degree; scoop out an more gram of milk powder – buy a constant temperature milk pump and set it to 47 degrees, or the water drops on the inside of the wrist without being hot or cold. The water temperature of 45-50 degrees is a range. It really doesn’t matter if the amount of milk powder is one or two grams apart. The baby is not so fragile. What is really important is to use qualified water sources, disinfect the bottle, and drink the flushed milk within an hour.

2. Daily care

You dare not let go of your baby during the whole process of bathing. After washing, you have to repeatedly touch the body temperature for fear of catching a cold – the left hand is stretched out from behind, the tiger’s mouth is stuck under the left armpit, the forearm is supported on the head and neck, and the palm is supported on the back of the head. In this position, the baby will never slip into the water. After washing, wrap it in a large bath towel to absorb the moisture, and put on a wet diaper and top first. If you have a cold, don’t look at the temperature of your hands and feet (it’s normal for a baby’s hands and feet to be cold), and it’s okay if the neck is warm.

3. Sleep anxiety

The baby wakes up frequently at night, and you dare not sleep with your ears up all night – first record the rules of three days to distinguish between true and false night awakening: closing your eyes and humming and twisting is a fake awakening. After a minute, you will stop, and you rush to wake him up completely. Husband and wife take turns, one in charge of the first half of the night and the other in the middle of the night. If the baby sleeps, you can sleep. Don’t wash clothes and mop the floor during bedtime. You can’t do those things. You can’t lose your sleep.

Self-adaptation and psychological anxiety

In the role change from “alone” to “parents”, I have too high requirements for myself, and if I mess up, I will feel that I am a waste. I was tied to death by the trivial things of parenting all day long, and I had to bear the physical overdraft and the “traditional experience” of the elders, and finally all of them became internal injuries.

1. Role change

You made the baby cry in a hurry, feeling that you couldn’t even change the diaper like a waste – after messing up, make sure the baby safe first, and then take three deep breaths and tell yourself, “It’s my first time, allow myself to make mistakes.” Starting from taking care of the baby independently for an hour, it is divided into three small tasks: breastfeeding, changing diapers, and coaxing to sleep. Every time you succeed, you will remember it in your heart. The worst thing is that you cry with the baby, but it’s enough to finish it.

2. Energy and mood

You are tied up by childcare trifles all day long, and you are physically and mentally exhausted and often have emotional breakdown – when you feel like you are going to break down, put the baby in the crib (a safe place) first, and then leave the room for five minutes. You can just drink water, take a deep breath, or cry for these five minutes. Set an alarm clock and go back when the time comes. Leaving the room is not to escape, but to catch him when he comes back.

3. External pressure

The elders forcibly interfere in traditional parenting. You agree with scientific parenting but dare not refute it – don’t say “what you said is wrong”, but say “the doctor said it” and “the guidance of the community hospital is written”, and move the third-party authority. Communicate with the other half in advance. Don’t give in on the principle issue; you can let go of such small things as wearing one more and one less.

Those moments when you think you “messed up”, in fact, most of them are not messed up, they are just learning. It’s not your fault to vomit milk, it’s not your fault to wake up at night, it’s not your fault to have eczema, and it’s not your fault that the baby cried.

The last sentence for you is that I wrote it on a note and pasted it in the refrigerator when I first started to take care of my baby–

“He will grow up, and so will you.”

Now, I’ll give it to you. Don’t worry, the baby will grow up healthily!