Are you ridiculed by your colleagues at a company meeting for childish ideas, or you are ridiculed by strangers in the restaurant and dressed strangely, or you are you made fun of your shortcomings by your relatives at a family party, or even maliciously ridiculed by netizens on social software. The feeling of being treated as a joke, being despised, and being trampled on with dignity is like a thorn, stuck in the heart, both aggrieved and angry, and even makes you slowly deny yourself: Am I really so ridiculous?
But the good news is that whether you are a student or a worker, you can use the five methods I summarize below to deal with these moments cleverly.
Method 1: Gray Rock Method
The core of the gray rock method is to make yourself like a “uninteresting gray rock”, not to give any emotional feedback to the words and behaviors of the mocker, so that the mocker feels that “it makes no sense to tease you”, so as to take the initiative to stop ridicule.
Specific scenario coping methods:
- Campus scene
For example, when a classmate repeatedly teases your accent or clothes, don’t look into his eyes, keep an expressionless face, use the most plain tone, just say one word “oh”, or “I see”, and then immediately turn around and do your own thing, without giving him any response throughout the whole process. Even if he continues to make fun of you, don’t look back and refute. If you persist once or twice, he will find it boring and stop teasing you.
- Workplace scene
You just finished a report. When a colleague saw it, he joked, “Your report is too messy. Primary school students do better than you.” At this time, you should ignore him and continue to do your own things, such as sorting out documents, taking water, saying “Well, I will adjust”, and don’t start any topics with him. Seeing that you didn’t react, he wouldn’t continue to laugh.
Method 2: Calm and firm boundary setting method
When ridicule becomes malicious, recurring, and touches your bottom line, the gray rock method is not suitable. At this time, it is necessary to clearly establish boundaries and tell the other party in a calm and firm language, “I don’t accept your behavior, please stop”, neither to exacerbated the conflict nor wrong yourself.
Specific scenario coping methods:
- Campus scene
Your classmates have been giving insulting nicknames to you who are fat, and they also openly laugh at you in the corridor and classroom, which makes you feel extremely humiliated. You should go to him and say, “You have hurt me by saying this. Please stop immediately and don’t do this again in the future.” If he continues, you can tell the teacher directly and firmly show the bottom line again, “I will not tolerate you continuing to laugh at me, and I will take further measures”.
- Workplace scene
When you shared your project plan in the meeting, your colleague suddenly interrupted you and sneered, “Your plan is too childish. It’s not realistic at all. Haven’t you done the project?”, which also made other colleagues laugh together. At this time, you can say, “This is a plan that I have carefully prepared. Please stop making such remarks.” If he says, “I’m just joking”, you continue to respond firmly, “The joke that makes me uncomfortable is not a joke. I ask you to stop again.” After saying that, continue to share your plan and don’t give him another chance to interrupt and laugh.
Method 3: Humorary retresive method
Humor is not a compromise, but a high-level way of counterattack. In the face of mild malicious ridicule, responding cleverly with humorous language not only solves his own embarrassment, but also can counter the mocker, make him realize that his teasing is very boring, and at the same time preserve his dignity.
Specific scenario response :
- Campus scene
For example, a classmate deliberately walked to you in the corridor, bent down and teased you for being short, and there were other students around you. You can look up at him with a smile, in a relaxed tone, and ask back, “Aren’t you tired after bending over for so long? Do you want me to help you find a stool so that you can talk to me properly?” In this way, he will become embarrassed and no longer laugh at you.
- Workplace scene
After seeing that you cut your short hair with personality, your colleague joked, “Your hairstyle is too strange, like a boy.” You should say with a smile, “Yes, this hairstyle is a little unique, but at least I have the courage to try a new style. Unlike you, your hair has been the same for decades. Don’t you feel bored?” The tone is relaxed and not malicious, but it can make him realize that he has a lot of jokes.
Method 4: Support circle buffering method
When treated as a joke, it is easy to fall into self-doubt. The core of the support circle buffer method is to establish your own support circle (friends, family, colleagues, people with the same experience) in advance. When being ridiculed, ask them for help, regain confidence, and have the courage to deal with ridicule.
Specific scenario response:
- Campus scene
For example, when you are ridiculed and isolated by many classmates. You should find your own support circle as soon as possible, such as classmates who have a good relationship with you and a trusted teacher, confide in them about your experience, and tell them that “they have been laughing at me and isolating me. I am very wronged”. With their support, you will be more courageous and not fall into self-doubt.
- Workplace scene
When you first joined the new company, several old colleagues have been laughing at you for “doing nothing, but you dare to come to work”, do not teach you how to work, and isolate you, making you feel helpless and want to give up. You also need to find your own support circle, such as colleagues who are also newcomers in the company, and talk to them for help.
Seeing this, I believe you have mastered how to deal with being treated as a joke. Whether it is dealing with the ridicule and bullying of classmates on campus, or facing the ridicule and contempt of colleagues in the workplace, using the above four methods can make you calm.
In fact, it is never your fault to be treated as a joke. Those who laugh at you just cover up their inferiority and incompetence with malice, and you don’t need to pay for their ignorance and meanness. You don’t need to quarrel with every mocker, but you must have the courage to say “no”; you don’t need to be perfect, but you must accept and love yourself.
