4 Types of Anxious Students, the Teacher Can Help Like This

Stop! Don’t be in a hurry to say “don’t be nervous”.

How many times have you said this sentence? Is it useful?

The child who dragged his mother to cry at the school gate, you said “don’t cry”, he cried even more fiercely.

The child who stood up and couldn’t speak with trembling hands, you said “Don’t be nervous and speak slowly”, he couldn’t squeeze out a word.

The child who ran to the infirmary every day to say that he had a headache, you said “don’t think too much”, he turned his head and began to worry about whether there would be an earthquake tomorrow.

Don’t be nervous. It’s the most useless word in the world. But it’s not your fault. Because we have never been taught how to help anxious children.

Next, I will tell you the methods I have summarized from my communication with other teachers in the past few years: separation anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, selective silence disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. I will provide specific methods for each category, which is convenient for you to use directly.

I. Separation anxiety

Core: I’m not petty, I really feel that “separation = never seeing each other again”.

Scene 1

The mother sent it to the school gate, and the child pulled the clothes and didn’t let go, crying and shouting “I don’t want to go to school”.

At this time, it is necessary to ask the mother to bring the child something with the smell of a mother (hair hoop, small coat) in advance. At the school gate, you make a fixed “goodbye gesture” (high-five, hug) with your mother, and then your mother will leave immediately. You took over and pulled the child and said, “Let’s go and see if the little turtle is hungry today.”

Scene 2

He asked once in less than 10 minutes of class. You answered and he asked again after a few minutes. He couldn’t listen to the class at all.

If you encounter a similar situation, make a “school countdown” and paste it on the corner of the desk, divide the day into morning reading, the first class, between classes… Let him tick by himself after each box. Agree on another “missing signal” – he raised his hand to make a “1” to mean that he missed his mother, and you just need to nod.

II. Social anxiety disorder

Core: I’m not introverted. I really feel that “when people look at me, I will make a fool of myself”.

Scene 1

He stood up and opened and closed his mouth, and his hands began to tremble. Finally, he lowered his head and said, “I don’t know.”

At this time, you should always pay attention to him, walk to him, turn your back to your classmates, and slowly say the first word of the answer with his mouth, and he can read it out. Or ask again, “Then can you nod and tell me, right?” Reduce the difficulty. As long as you respond, you will succeed.

Scene 2

Other classmates chatted and played. He was the only one reading or standing in the corridor, and did not dare to take the initiative to open his mouth.

You can find a classmate with a gentle personality privately and say to him, “Go and ask him to borrow an eraser between classes and praise him, ‘Your eraser is so cool’.” Arrange him to do “work” with another classmate, such as handing out homework books together – the scene of doing things is much less stressful than the scene of playing.

III. Selective silence

Core: It’s not that I don’t mean to say anything, but that my mouth is really stuck with glue in tense situations.

Scene 1

Parents say, “He talks a lot at home,” but you have been watching him at school for a week. He doesn’t talk to anyone, just nods or shakes his head.

Try to do this: prepare a small whiteboard for him and say, “You don’t need to talk, just write it for me.” Then establish a “sound ladder” – first let him say “um” with his breath, then let him say something to the recorder so that you can’t hear it, and then let him speak with his back to you, every step without urging, for a few days or even weeks.

Scene 2

Four people discussed. He sat there motionless. Others asked him, “What do you think?” He looked down at the table.

Don’t be discouraged. You can let him be a “recorder” or “timer”. You don’t need to talk, just write or look at the watch. Ask him privately in advance: “If someone asks your opinion later, would you be willing to answer by nodding and shaking your head? Or write it down and hand it to them?”

IV. Generalized anxiety disorder

Core: It’s not that I think too much, but I really can’t control the “alarm” in my mind to keep ringing.

Scene 1

You said it would rain tomorrow, and he immediately worried, “Will it thunder when it rains? Will there be a power outage if there is thunder? What should I do if there is a power outage for the exam?”

In this case, you ask three questions – “Did this really happen?” What is the worst outcome if it happens?” What can we do at that time?” Give him another “worry box”, write down your worries and put them in, and watch it after school.

Scene 2

He often said that he had a headache and a stomachache. He went to the infirmary to check that there was nothing wrong, but when he went back to the classroom, he said that he felt uncomfortable.

Don’t think it’s troublesome. You have to teach him to do “body scanning” – “Close your eyes and feel it. What does your fingers feel like? Where is the arm? What about the shoulder? Where’s your stomach?” Concertize the vague discomfort. Put a chair, a glass of water and a pressure ball in the corner of the classroom. He felt uncomfortable and sat there for 5 minutes and came back.

Finally, I would like to say something unpleasant:

You can’t change the families of these children, nor can you erase all the pressure they have experienced in the past.

But you can do one thing – let them know that in school, in this classroom, there is a person who doesn’t think they are troublesome, doesn’t urge them to “get well soon”, and is willing to try with them again and again.

Don’t say “don’t be nervous” anymore.

Try the above methods. Even if only one is used, it is a hundred times better than that nonsense.