I’m gonna give you the phrase that’s gonna make your narcissistic boss lose their shit. Okay?
Your manager isn’t confused. They’re in control of you. And if you’re new here, my name is Linda. I teach you how to survive in corporate.
So some managers don’t have leadership skills. They have narcissistic tendencies. And the difference will cost you your job, your reputation, or maybe your sanity if you don’t catch it in time.
They don’t want your performance. They want your dependence. They move goalposts, reframe your wins as problems, and manufacture confusion on purpose. Because as long as you’re explaining yourself and chasing their approval, they have access to you. You can bring the receipts, the email chain, the dates, the screenshots, and somehow you still end up in a meeting about your attitude. That is miscommunication, and that’s the whole point.
So stop trying to win a conversation that was never designed for you to win. What you say instead? And this is the trick: once. And you do it calmly. “Can we get that in writing?” Then you stop talking.
Documentation is not paranoia. Paranoia? It’s protection. The moment you stop reacting and start recording, you’re no longer a soft target.
They will escalate when you do this. Or maybe they’ll go cold, or suddenly become your biggest supporter right before your review. That’s not a change in their behaviour. That’s them showing you their desperation.
Here’s what nobody will tell you until after you’re already burned out. This manager is not afraid of losing you. They’re afraid of losing control over you. So remove the control. Stop shrinking so the room stays comfortable for someone who will never extend you the same courtesy.
Your job description does not include absorbing dysfunction. Now put dysfunction in the comments.
