I don’t trust men that constantly want to communicate with me via text, phone call, or voice messages—especially early on in the dating phase.
Many women can get whisked away in the idea of constant communication with someone they’re interested in. The text exchanges, the lovey-dovey feeling of being connected through a phone—it can feel exciting and validating. But I have very firm boundaries when it comes to how much access I allow someone to have to me, especially when dating.
Why Constant Texting Creates a False Persona
A man that wants constant communication with you, especially in the early phases, is often trying to give off a personality through the phone that he can fake. He wants you to already have that image in your brain so you can project it onto him once you’re around him in person. By the time you meet, you’ve already formed an idea of who he is—based on words, not actions.
This is why dating used to be more fun before cell phones. You didn’t know when the other person would be home. You had to leave a message with their family. When you did get to communicate, there was restraint. You paid more attention to in-person interactions because those were the moments that actually counted.
How Texting Can Cloud Your Judgment
Constant texting is an easy way to give off a persona. It becomes instilled in your brain and clouds your judgment when it comes to your in-person interactions with that individual.
Phones have made it extremely easy to fake a connection. Picking up a phone to send a message has very little value. With ChatGPT, scripts, and pre-written prompts in notes, it’s easier than ever for someone to get into your brain and create an idea of who they are—without you ever having to see them in person, read their nonverbal cues, or really get a feel for who they are when standing in front of you.
How to Set Boundaries Around Digital Access
You can really see a person’s character based on whether they follow your boundaries or not—especially regarding how often you want to communicate or text. Most of us are living lives of monotony. Day-to-day experiences aren’t always worth texting back and forth. Anything vulnerable or truly meaningful should be shared face to face, not through a screen.
I advise women not to fall for the constant need for communication, especially in the early phases of dating. That’s usually what kills the essence of it anyway—you end up looking forward to a text message rather than the person themselves. And it’s also very easy to get love bombed when someone is constantly filling your phone with attention.
Protect Your Energy and Your Judgment
Set boundaries early. Value in-person connection over digital volume. Let someone show you who they are through time, presence, and actual behavior—not through how often they text you good morning.
