Sometimes when you walk into a room and look at each other, you will feel bright in an instant when you see someone smiling and looking at you. Or on the contrary, when a person’s mouth is slightly raised but his eyes are empty, you will feel a little unnatural or even uncomfortable. You may not realize it, but this is the power of a smile, especially the kind of smile conveyed by the eyes.
You may ask, “How can I smile with my eyes?” Don’t worry, I will use the following methods to help you learn to convey more warmth and sincerity through your eyes.
I. Eye focus method
Core content: The first step of smiling with eyes is not to let your eyes drift around. First, keep your eyes steady on the other person, and then drive the eye muscles to exert force, so that there is a “sense of focus” in the eyes. In this way, the smile will be sincere and will not be perfunctory.
For example, when you go to the company in the morning and meet a colleague near the workstation, you can do this: stop first (no need to stop for too long, 1-2 seconds), keep your eyes steadily on the colleague’s eyes, and naturally focus around the other’s pupils, and then gently squint your eyes, let the corners of your eyes bend slightly up, and raise the corners of your mouth at the same time. He said again, “It’s early today”, and the tone is softer. In this way, the colleague will definitely respond to you with a smile, because he can feel that you are really greeting him instead of going through the process.
For example, if you ask a stranger for directions, you will first focus on his eyes and say with a smile, “Hello, please ask how to get to the nearby subway station?” He will probably tell you patiently, and even take the initiative to show you the direction, because there is kindness in your eyes, which makes people feel reliable.
II. Eye power method
Core content: When many people laugh, only the corners of their mouth are moving, and the muscles around the eyes are completely weak, so the eyes look dull, which is what we often call “fake smile”. The core of this method is to deliberately activate the muscles around the eyes, so that the corners of the eyes are slightly raised and the corners of the eyes appear a faint smile, so that the eyes will “smile” and echo the smile at the corners of the mouth, full of sincerity.
When you communicate with the customer and the other party makes a good suggestion, you can do this when you want to express your approval and gratitude: after listening to the customer’s words, nod first, then gently narrow your eyes, consciously raise the corners of your eyes, and naturally exert effort to drive a faint smile at the end of the eye, and say with a smile, “Thank you so much! This suggestion just solves our previous problem, and you are too thoughtful. In this way, the customer can clearly feel your sincerity and feel that you really approve of his suggestion, not perfunctory.
Or video chat with your family. Your parents ask you “how are you doing recently?” If you don’t want them to worry, you can use this method: look at your parents’ eyes on the screen, the muscles around your eyes are strong, and the corners of your eyes are raised. Smile and say, “I’m doing well. I eat and sleep on time every day, and work is going well. Don’t worry,” Dad. Mom can see that you are really happy, not forced.
III. Emotional substitute method
Core content: The core of the real eye smile is “emotion” – whether it is happiness, tenderness, or kindness, emotions should be transmitted through the eyes. Eyes without emotion, no matter how much you squint and focus, are all empty. Only when you put your emotions in your eyes can you smile have warmth and move others.
If you are a newcomer and your colleagues take the initiative to help you sort out your work and teach you how to work, you want to express your gratitude and closeness. You can use this method: first think in your heart, “Thank you so much, this colleague is so kind”, so that you can feel warm in your heart, and then look at your colleague’s eyes, soften your eyes, with gentle emotions, and raise the corners of your mouth and say, “Thank you so much. Thank you for your trouble. Without you, I really don’t know what to do. Only colleagues can feel the warmth in your heart.
For example, when you see a good friend, you will be very happy. You don’t have to deliberately think about how to laugh. The happiness in your heart will naturally be transmitted to your eyes. Your eyes will light up, and the corners of your mouth will rise unconsciously. Such a smile does not need to practice deliberately, and it is also very touching.
IV. Detailed adjustment method
Core content: Many people have mastered the previous method, but they still laugh unnaturally. The problem lies in the details. The core of this method is to adjust a few small details, such as the frequency of blinking and the softness of the eyes, to make the smile of the eyes more natural and comfortable, and to avoid the situation of “hard” and “fake smile”.
When you finish your speech at the meeting, I want to smile and express my gratitude to everyone. You can do this: first focus and glance at the whole thing, and then exert force around your eyes, blink your eyes every 3-4 seconds, look softer, don’t stare at everyone, and then say “My speech is over, thank you”, so that it looks very natural, not nervous, and very sincere.
For example, attending a party and meeting new people, you want to take the initiative to smile and say hello. You can adjust the details: first focus on the eyes of the new friend, squint, don’t look too sharp, be soft, blink slowly, don’t blink frequently and say “Hello, nice to meet you”, this is both natural and sincere, and new friends will be willing to communicate with you.
Eyes are the core of a smile, and a smile is the best business card.
Don’t worry about “I don’t smile well” and “I can’t smile”. Starting from today, try to practice with these 4 methods. Even if you practice for 5 minutes every day, you will gradually find that it can bring you infinite positive energy and improve interpersonal relationships. After all, no one can refuse a smile with light and warmth in the eyes. This is the power of a smile. It is simple and healing, but it can warm yourself and illuminate others.
