When someone insults you, they usually want one of two things: silence or a reaction. These three phrases give them neither. They flip the dynamic, drain the emotional power out of the insult, and put the other person on the defensive.
1. “That’s Kind of Disappointing. I Thought You Would Come Up With Something Better Than That.”
This needs to be said without sarcasm, anger, or any emotional charge. Delivered neutrally, it communicates that you expected more from them—and that their insult fell short. Because you didn’t freeze and you didn’t get reactive, they don’t have much of a comeback. If they throw another insult, you rinse and repeat. Each time, their insult lands weaker, and you look more composed.
2. “I Think You’re Better Than That Comment.”
Again, said neutrally, you’re communicating that you actually expect more from them as a person—and that their comment is beneath them. This tends to create a moment of discomfort because it forces them to look at their own behavior. It reframes the dynamic from “you attacking me” to “you disappointing yourself.” That subtle shift takes all the power out of their words and puts the focus back on them.
3. “What’s the Purpose of That Comment?” or “What Do You Mean by That?”
This question takes all the oxygen out of the insult. It forces them to either clarify their intention or realize they don’t have one. Most insults cannot survive when examined directly. If they repeat it, it lands even weaker the second time, because now the spotlight is on their behavior, not yours.
The next time someone tries to bring you down, try one of these three phrases. They’ll change the dynamic, and you won’t walk away wishing you had said something different.
