I’m going to teach you how to actually kill your social anxiety and become more outgoing. Let’s go.
After COVID, I don’t know what happened—but I couldn’t talk to people. So I told myself, “I can’t look like that.” That’s what I did.
Tip 1: The 123 Go Strategy
This has literally never failed me. The moment you look at someone and even have an inkling of a thought of what you want to say—something you want to go to the person—you count to 3. 1, 2, 3… GO. And you physically move there. You must move.
That’s the problem: a lot of you like to think about it and analyze. Just go. Because the more you think, the worse it gets. Your brain will find a million reasons to stay put. Your job is to override that voice and move before it has time to talk you out of it.
Tip 2: Stop Trying to Say the Perfect Thing
When you’re in conversation, you’re too in your head about saying the perfect thing. About saying what can please them the most. Guess what? You’re not actually listening.
I know you think you are. But you’re not listening enough for you to actually ask follow-up questions that mean something. The goal isn’t to impress. It’s to connect. And you can’t connect if you’re too busy scripting your next line while they’re still speaking.
Tip 3: Switch Up Your Default Script
This is my most helpful tip: switch up your default. A lot of people default to: “What’s your name?” “I’m good, how are you?” It’s boring.
Change it.
Someone asks, “How are you doing?” Say, “Like a 7 out of 10.” It allows you to elaborate. It allows them to ask. Whatever. The key is to break the autopilot so the conversation actually goes somewhere. When you give an unexpected answer, you give people something to work with—and you give yourself permission to be more interesting.
Let me know how it goes.
