The idea that all relationships have ups and downs is patriarchal programming to keep women benefitting men that don’t really benefit them.
What Actually Ends the Honeymoon Phase?
In the beginning of relationships, it’s really good. We call it the honeymoon phase. But what ends it? It’s not just a natural progression that relationships take. It’s when men stop treating you well. It’s when he starts lying. It’s when he starts cheating. It’s when he stops planning dates, stops surprising you, stops being sweet. It’s when he stops being the partner that you’re being to him.
The Programming That Keeps Women Stuck
Because of our patriarchal programming, we withstand that and we tolerate it for as long as we possibly can. We still treat them the way that we wanna be treated. We’re taught to fight for relationships, to not give up, to go to couples therapy. But what is couples therapy going to do when he doesn’t want to change?
Women Are Multipliers
Whatever you give to a woman, she’s going to multiply in return. So if you give her turmoil, she’s going to multiply that turmoil. That’s why it’s so important to be intentional about what you’re bringing into her life—because she will amplify it, for better or worse.
The Hard Truth
You cannot fix, you cannot save. You cannot communicate your way through a relationship with a man who’s no longer trying. Those “ups” after the downs never last long because he doesn’t feel the same way. The effort is temporary. The change is temporary. But your hope keeps you stuck, waiting for the version of him that only shows up when he senses you’re about to leave.
What to Do Instead
Women need to learn to walk away. Not because they’re giving up, but because they’re finally choosing themselves. The ups don’t matter if the downs are a pattern. And the downs don’t need to be tolerated just because someone told you “all relationships have challenges.” Some challenges aren’t challenges—they’re signs. And the only thing left to do is leave.
