If you’re struggling with your confidence and you wanna work towards being more confident, I can fix that, or at least try to. I used to have the confidence of a mung bean. I was not confident at all in myself and what I was doing, anything like that. And I was always meek and quiet. And there was something that happened in my brain. And I feel like these are the things that actually helped me.
A really big thing to remember, though, is that so many people talk about confidence as a mindset, and it could be, but it’s not just your mindset. It is a result of certain behaviors that you act on.
Keep one promise to yourself every single day.
So if you promise yourself you’re gonna go for a short walk, go for that short walk. If you promise to yourself that you’re gonna read right before bed, read right before bed. If you make any little—it could be a really tiny promise. But if you’re gonna make that promise to yourself, execute on it. Because it teaches your brain that when you say you’re gonna do something, you do it. And that’s how you build that trust with yourself, because you’re not betraying your own promises. And that really helps with grounding yourself in who you are.
Stop looking at yourself so much through the camera or in a mirror reflection.
It’s gonna sound a little backwards, but stop looking at yourself so much through the camera or in a mirror reflection. Your brain was not meant to constantly look at yourself that much or at ten times the magnification. If you look for flaws, you’re gonna find them. Basically, you just told your brain, “Oh, I have a free pass on looking at all the flaws within you. Great, I’m gonna do it.” Don’t. There are times where you look at yourself, like when you’re getting ready or after you’re ready and you wanna check yourself before you leave the house or something like that. But don’t look at yourself constantly throughout the day. That’s just not good for your mental health.
Find things that bring you joy that have nothing to do with how you look.
I like to write, I like to paint, I like to cook, I like to make different tea blends. I like to do all sorts of things that don’t rely on just beauty. Your brain’s gonna start changing. You’re gonna be a little bit more confident in who you are because you know what you like and what you don’t like, what brings you joy and what doesn’t bring you joy.
Don’t wait for a better version of yourself to enjoy life.
“Oh, I’ll do this when I lose weight, I’ll do this when I feel better about myself, I’ll do this when I look better, I’ll do this when I… whatever. Whatever that is.” Don’t wait, because you’re basically teaching your brain that your self worth and your confidence is tied to just how you look, just how you present yourself. And that’s not it. I myself fall victim to that. Your current life is worth enjoying. And I feel like I do that sometimes, too. And I catch myself, I’m like, I don’t want to wait for a better me to enjoy life. Like I’m going to enjoy it now. And when you actually start enjoying your life, you like yourself better. And when you like yourself better, that’s when confidence grows. Those all come together to make you more confident. It has nothing to do with how you look. But if you’re thinking, this isn’t gonna work, then don’t do it. Boo! Boo!
