If you want to know how people always get what they want—and you want to be someone who gets what they want—here’s how you can do just that. These are not secrets. They are simple principles that most people understand but fail to actually apply.
Why Becoming Valuable Is the First Step to Getting What You Want
First, you want to become extremely valuable. Solve problems, make people’s lives easier, and develop skills that are hard to ignore. Because at the end of the day, all people care about are outcomes. Are you going to provide information that allows them to obtain an outcome, or are you going to give them an outcome directly? Either way, the better you are able to give people what they need, the more they’re going to value you.
You also need to show that you are a valuable person—not just in what you do, but in how you carry yourself and how you view yourself. Take care of yourself and present yourself as someone who is valuable. Because no one is going to treat you like someone who is valuable if you don’t treat yourself that way.
Why Emotional Control Makes You More Competent
Second, you need to master emotional control, or at least get really good at it. Being able to stay calm, disciplined, and rational under pressure—instead of reacting impulsively—causes people to think you are more competent. It also allows you to handle things better when life gets chaotic. If you can handle the moments when everything is going crazy, you will receive opportunities that others cannot, simply because they fold under pressure.
How to Create Your Own Opportunities Instead of Waiting
Next—and this is arguably one of the most important things—you need to create opportunities for yourself rather than waiting for them. Ask more, network more, negotiate more, and take more chances than most people. Don’t be afraid of rejection, because rejection is part of getting to the goal. If you’re not rejected at least a few times, you’re not doing it right. You need to be someone that people are willing to bet on. And if everyone is willing to bet on you, there’s probably a reason why.
Why Understanding People’s Incentives Gives You Power
Learn to understand people and their incentives. Learn what people want, what they value, what they benefit from, and what they fear. Use that understanding to communicate your position more effectively and to showcase why you should be given those opportunities. When you understand what drives others, you can frame your value in a way that actually resonates with them.
Why Combining Competence with Confidence Wins Every Time
Lastly, combine competence with confidence. Even if you are competent, if people don’t see confidence from you, they won’t think you actually are. Believe in yourself—but back it up with consistent execution, adaptability, and real ability. That way people know that your confidence isn’t fake, and that you are actually capable. That is the reason they give you the opportunity, and that is how you get what you want.
