I remember the first time I noticed it. A colleague was making a pitch, and his voice was confident. His words were polished. But his face told a different story. For a split second, his lip curled up on one side. Then it was gone. The pitch failed.
That moment stuck with me. I realized that words can lie, but faces and bodies rarely do. We’re constantly broadcasting signals we don’t even know we’re sending. And if you learn to read those signals, you can understand what people really think and feel.
Quick Answer: How can I use body language to read people better?
You can read people better by paying attention to microexpressions, posture shifts, and eye contact. These involuntary cues reveal emotions people are trying to hide.
What Science Says About Body Language
The face and its expressions are the window to the soul, if you know how to read them.
Dr. Paul Ekman spent six decades proving that certain facial expressions are universal across every human culture. People in the United States make the same face for sadness as indigenous people in Papua New Guinea who have never seen TV or movies. Even people blind from birth make the same facial expressions.
This means reading body language isn’t about guesswork. It’s about recognizing patterns that are hardwired into all of us.
But most people miss the most important signals because they happen too fast. A microexpression can flash across a face in 1/25 of a second. Faster than an eye blink. Roughly 80 to 90 percent of people miss them entirely without training.
When you’re trying to understand someone, look for what doesn’t match. Words that are calm while fists are clenched. A smile that doesn’t reach the eyes. That misalignment tells you more than the words alone ever could.
The Seven Universal Microexpressions
Ekman identified seven facial expressions that are the same across every culture.
Happiness. A genuine smile involves the mouth and the eyes. Look for crow’s feet around the eyes.
Sadness. Drooping upper eyelids. Mouth corners turn down. Eyes lose spark.
Anger. Lowered eyebrows. Intense staring. Lips pressed together.
Fear. Raised eyebrows pulled together. Wide eyes. Mouth opens slightly.
Surprise. Raised eyebrows that curve upward. Wide eyes. Dropped jaw.
Disgust. Nose wrinkles. Upper lip lifts.
Contempt. This is the only asymmetrical expression. One side of the lip pulls up.
Try making these expressions in the mirror. Once you know what they feel like, you’ll recognize them faster in others.
How to Read Posture and Movement
Facial expressions are powerful, but the body reveals just as much.
Mirroring. When two people are comfortable, they unconsciously copy each other’s postures.
The feet. People tend to point their feet toward what they want. If someone’s feet point toward the door, they might want to leave.
The hands. Open palms signal honesty. Hidden hands signal defensiveness. Fidgeting can mean nervousness.
A friend of mine, Sarah, once told me she could always tell when her boss was about to deliver bad news. “He rubs his hands together before he speaks. Every single time.” That’s a classic pacifying gesture.
If you want to go deeper into reading body language, Miles Carter’s How to Read Someone’s Mind offers simple frameworks for noticing gestures, posture shifts, and microexpressions that most people overlook. It teaches practical, ethical techniques that help you interpret human behavior with greater accuracy.
What Microexpressions Don’t Tell You
A single microexpression isn’t proof of anything. People show fear when they’re nervous. They show disgust when they hear bad news. These are normal reactions.
Context matters. Is the person tired? Stressed? Hungry? Before you assume someone is lying, consider the bigger picture.
Research shows that true microexpressions appear in only about 2 percent of high-stakes interactions. So they’re rare. And they’re not always what they seem.
What I Want You to Remember
When I first started studying body language, I felt like I had a superpower. I could see things I’d been missing. But the real lesson wasn’t about catching people. It was about understanding them.
People are complicated. They say one thing and mean another. They show fear when they want to show strength. They smile when they’re hurt.
The goal isn’t to manipulate. It’s to see clearly. To understand what someone is really feeling. And to respond with kindness instead of judgment.
That’s a skill worth learning.
FAQ: How to Use Body Language to Read People
Q: Are microexpressions always a sign someone is lying?
A: No. They reveal emotions, not lies. Someone might flash fear because they’re nervous, not because they’re hiding something.
Q: Can I learn to read body language without training?
A: Yes. Start by noticing mismatches between words and body. Watch for microexpressions in movies or real conversations.
Q: How long does it take to get good at reading microexpressions?
A: Some people see improvement in a few weeks. Most studies suggest consistent practice over several months leads to real skill.
Q: Is it possible to control your own microexpressions?
A: Not easily. They’re involuntary. With training, you can learn to mask them, but they often slip out before you can suppress them.
Q: What’s the most revealing microexpression?
A: Contempt, because it’s asymmetrical. A single raised lip corner is hard to fake and often signals genuine disdain.
References
Ekman, P., & Friesen, W. V. (1978). Facial Action Coding System: A Technique for the Measurement of Facial Movement. Consulting Psychologists Press.
Ekman, P. (2003). Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life. Times Books.
Carter, M. (2026). How to Read Someone’s Mind: Decode Body Language, Understand Human Behavior, Uncover Hidden Emotions, and Read People Like a Pro. Insightful Mind Books.
