Have you ever been hurt by someone simply because they didn’t show up the way you would have shown up for them? That’s the trap.
You have to stop expecting you from other people. The way you love, the way you show up, the way you give—you have to stop expecting that from other people. Honestly, it’s the expectation that causes the grief.
Why We Expect Others to Love Like We Do
If you’re a person who loves deeply, overwhelmingly, and gives with your whole heart, it’s natural to assume others will do the same. For the longest time, I expected that what I gave to people is what they would give back to me. But that’s not always what I found.
The hard truth is that not everyone is capable of loving the way you do. It’s not that they don’t care—it’s that they express care differently. And expecting them to mirror your exact style of love is a recipe for disappointment.
The Real Problem Is Expectation
It’s not the other person’s fault that they can’t match your intensity. It’s your expectation that causes the pain. When you assume that your way of loving is the “right” way, you set yourself up for hurt. Not everyone needs love the way you give it—and not everyone can give love the way you receive it.
Pour Into the Right Vessels
You have to ensure that you’re pouring the love you have into the right vessels. But it has to start from within. Pour that love into yourself first, so you can identify exactly where else it needs to go. When you know your own worth, you become more discerning about who gets access to your heart.
Not everyone deserves the love you have to give. And that’s not selfish—that’s self-respect.
