This might be hard to hear, but you’ll thank me later.
Mom rage never went anywhere. No matter how many times you tell yourself “this is the last time,” feel guilty, and vow to do better—it stays. It never budges. Until you see the fruit you’re producing.
The Rotten Tree
You know what the Bible says? Rotten trees cannot produce good fruit. Good trees cannot produce rotten fruit. It wasn’t until I looked at my kid and said, “Who speaks to you like that?” And he said, “You do.”
I said, “No, I don’t.” But I did. He learned it from me. She was screaming at me because I screamed at her. Where do you think she got it from? Yes, some of it is children being children—but a lot of it is them thinking, “Well, mom does it to me, so this must be how the world works.”
No, it’s not.
The Wake-Up Call
That was my biggest wake-up call: “Oh my goodness, my children are turning into me.” The worst parts of me. The parts I never want to pass down to them. This has got to change.
It wasn’t until I realized that I was the rotten tree. Not my kids. Not their behavior. Me. And if I don’t change, they’ll grow up with the same rage, the same guilt, the same cycles I’ve been stuck in. That’s not the legacy I want to leave.
What You Can Do
Healing starts with honesty. The honest truth is that we can’t control our kids. But we can heal the parts of us that are producing the rotten fruit. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present enough to see the pattern and brave enough to break it. If you want your children to speak with kindness and patience, you have to show them what that looks like—not just tell them. Your kids will learn more from who you are than from anything you say. The change starts with you.
